Writing can be an extremely frustrating and hopelessly solitary artistic endeavor, and as writers we know and understand this when we choose it as our lifestyle. Yet it doesn’t make it any easier when we’re holed up in the basement, writing the next big thing on our minds. Whether you’re trying to write a blog post, a poem, a screenplay, or a novel – Writer’s Block afflicts us all. I know that personally, real life usually gets in the way and saps my creative juices with its constant demands, but to keep writing I have acquired several techniques which I use in order to get my brain jumpstarted again. My hope is to share a couple of my own techniques with you. I know that many of you have your own techniques, but as a writer – I usually appreciate any new ways in which I can defeat this annoying affliction. Feel free to chime in with your own methods below in the comments section.
I originally posted this as a Guest Post on Shawna Borman’s Blog Of Doom – Please check out the rest of her posts if you can. She is a very talented writer, and she has a deliciously twisted imagination.
WALK OR DRIVE: Walking, to me, is a lost pastime. And I’m not the only one to think so. If you’re stuck on a certain spot in your manuscript or post or what have you, get OUT of that space for a little while. If you don’t like walking, then just sit outside or maybe take a drive. Anything to get yourself out of your stagnant state. Maybe you’ll see or experience something that will ignite that spark. You just have to step outside your comfort zone for a bit. Fresh air does wonders for the mind and the thought process needed for writing.
READ SOMETHING: As Stephen King once said; “If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.” Writing is a skill in which you absorb technique and inspiration from reading other writers. To do so, you need to actually read. Sometimes, reading someone else’s work is the perfect way to jumpstart your own. In my case, I will sometimes put aside my writing for one day and try to finish the book I was already reading or start another one. By the time I’m through a few chapters, I’m usually chomping at the bit to get back into my writing project. Obviously, it’s “dangerous” to put aside the writing to do something else (because you can get too much into the habit of doing that), but in moderation I think it works. Just really pay attention to what the authors are doing; their prose, the construction of the novel or short story or poem or whatever, and the way in which the strongest parts of it make you feel as a reader. Try to infuse your writing with some of that magic, without trying to ape their style. Be you.
LISTEN TO MUSIC: This one is very divisive within the writing community. In one camp, you have people who absolutely cannot listen to music while writing. Or, they at least must listen to very quiet, ambient music rather than anything heady with lyrics. That’s okay, this technique may not be for you either. However – when I’m trying to write a certain scene or a certain tone to my short story or screenplay, I sometimes pick an appropriate piece of music. For a tone, I will generally choose a playlist I’ve created on Spotify or find a playlist on YouTube – for example, if I’m looking for a melancholy tone I will choose a playlist that’s labeled as “sad songs” or “bittersweet songs”. Generally, the mood conveyed through these songs, and the emotions they bring out enhance my writing. It’s all about knowing your tolerance for this kind of distraction while you’re trying to write. This also works if you just need to listen to a song or two BEFORE you write, rather than listening to entire tracks during your actual writing. Just make sure to fire up another song here and there to renew your creative juices and emotions, because sometimes sitting in a chair and writing prose does not automatically generate emotions until you really get into the meat of the story. Writing is both a technical skill and an art, and art comes from emotion. Sometimes, we wade too far into the technical aspects and lose the emotional momentum.
USE WRITING EXERCISES AND PROMPTS: This method is actually my favorite, and thanks to the internet, there are countless online sources for finding writing ideas. These aren’t necessarily meant to replace the project you’re working on, but are more for trying to write something in general when you’re stuck. However, if you need some distance from your novel, it’s okay to take a brief respite and write something else. A few of my favorite sources for writing prompts are from books I’ve found or have been given. My wife gifted me a sort of “activity book” called 400 Writing Prompts by Piccadilly Inc and that one has given me quite a few ideas. A couple of other books I’ve found to be pretty useful are The Writer’s Book of Matches: 1,001 Prompts To Ignite Your Fiction from Writer’s Digest Books, What If?: Writing Exercises for Fiction Writers by Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter, and The Pocket Muse: Ideas & Inspirations for Writing by Monica Wood. There are also lots of online sources out there as I mentioned above, and some of my favorites are Writer’s Digest, Poets & Writers, tumblr, and even reddit. Various bloggers like myself also dedicate entire sections of their blog to writing prompts. My own blog, Away With Words, has just such a section that you can find HERE. I try to do at least one weekly prompt, but sometimes I do more.
These are just some tools for trying to get back into the swing of things, and my hope is that by using these techniques and resources, you can dig yourself out of whatever funk you’re in and get back to writing. Remember – try not to be too hard on yourself. Writing is hard work, it’s thirsty work, and your brain can quickly become parched when it’s dealing with the same tedious task over and over. Give it some variety and keep yourself from getting mired. Good luck!
Friend Files is a feature I’ve added to Away With Words, this being the twentieth installment. Past installments appear under the “Friend Files” tag on my blog. I will be interviewing a friend of mine and showcasing why they are a friend to me and what I like about them, and also a mini-interview (five questions) that detail what they think of me. It’s a way to acknowledge my friends out there and what they’re up to and also introduce them to my larger group of friends, acquaintances, and anyone else who might be interested in reading.
Today, I will be talking about Alicia Dutremble. Before I get into what I think of her, here is my mini-interview with Alicia (exchanged over Facebook) where she jotted down just a few thoughts:
ALICIA DUTREMBLE: I’m currently a shift supervisor at Starbucks and a full time student at the University of Southern Maine (unfortunately). I have a fat cat named Jax Xavier and my whole life revolves around him. I also have a boyfriend named Zacharia and he thinks he’s black (quite literally). In my spare time, I like to draw. I’ve had a handful of people get my drawings tattooed on them in the past year, which has given me the incentive to follow my dream of becoming a tattoo artist. After I graduate this semester, I’ll be working towards that dream.
Who I am today consists of a handful of events/time periods in my life that have heavily impacted me. I would say I’m made up of 20% the custody battle of 2007, 30% my two years at Keene State, 20% my last relationship, and 30% the last 18 months. The custody battle is not worth writing about, as it impacted me in ways that I don’t think I could verbalize properly. In my two years at Keene, I really established who I am.
I remember in my first month at Keene, I was convinced it was the first time I’d felt true happiness in my life. My last relationship was a long distance relationship that started when I was at my peak in Keene. He was my first love and boy did that relationship test the limits of love. We went through things that most couples, most people, don’t even experience. After more ups and downs than I could keep track of, we decided that love wasn’t enough. After that break up, I was in a really dark place. But after a few months of being an absolute psycho, I was drawing more, I was making new friends, and I was genuinely happy again. On the day that I realized I didn’t need anyone but myself (and my cat), I ironically met Zacharia. He was truly the light at the end of a long, dark tunnel, as cheesy as that sounds. We’re complete opposites, the ying to each other’s yang, but we balance each other out perfectly. (That was so gushy, so sorry.) My employment at Starbucks has also heavily impacted me. I was always the black sheep in my group of friends and my friends at Starbucks were all exactly what I needed at the end of my “establishing myself” journey, if you will. So yeah, I guess that’s all there is to know about me. I guess that was probably more than what you’re looking for. But I guess I just like talking about myself?
ME:How exactly did we meet?
ALICIA DUTREMBLE: We met when you transferred from Saco Starbucks to Forest Ave Starsluts! I remember in the weeks preparing for your arrival, Ariana would tell me how much I’d love working with you, but then she would follow it with, “He should probably be a psychopath but he’s not.” So there’s that. And I’m happy you’re not an actual psychopath.
ME:What is one good memory you have involving me?
ALICIA DUTREMBLE: My favorite memory with you is definitely a tie between paint bar night and your birthday night. Paint bar night was awesome because we all got to know each other outside of work really well. I think that night was the determining event where I was like, “Yep, these are good humans”.
My other favorite memory, your birthday night, is a good memory for a different reason. You’ve always gone out with Ariana and I when we wanted to and you always make it a point to make plans with us, not to mention how great of a friend you are. So when you mentioned to us that you weren’t doing anything in your birthday, we gave that a big “helllllll no”. It was so nice to go out and see you genuinely happy with the people who you deemed important enough to celebrate your birthday with and I’m thankful I was able to be there to celebrate your special night.
ME:Why exactly are we still friends?
ALICIA DUTREMBLE: We are still friends because you are one of a handful of people who can not only take my dark humor and not get uncomfortable, but also give it right back to me. Between the dark, dry humor and the dad jokes, a friendship is inevitable.
ME: Anything you want me to plug?
ALICIA DUTREMBLE: I always love new followers on my Instagram and my fat cat Jaxx would also love more followers. Yes, my cat has an Instagram and, yes, you can make fun of me, but once you start following him, you’ll take back every word you ever said about it.
Alicia is an interesting person. When I first met her, I thought she maybe didn’t like me. She seemed detached, and she seemed to regard me with a sort of suspicious curiosity. Reading her responses to my questions above – I finally figured out why. She thought I might be a psychopath! Haha
In all seriousness, it didn’t take long for me to warm up to Alicia. During a fellow co-worker’s birthday party, I asked her questions and got to know a tiny bit more about her. Then, we had our infamous “Muse Paint Bar” outing, here in Portland, Maine which I’ve detailed in other editions of Friend Files. That really opened up the gates and after then, I really felt comfortable around Alicia and my other co-workers who attended.
Of course, after that – we had my birthday party, which arguably is my favorite memory with Alicia aside from a more recent one where I hung out with her and her boyfriend for a couple hours at a local bar. Alicia is really low-key, sarcastic, and she only laughs when something genuinely strikes her as funny – so I know that when she’s laughing, she really means it.
Alicia is pretty new to the company I work for, but she has proven herself a very competent shift manager, and on top of that she’s been a pretty loyal friend in the work setting, and lately – outside of it as well. I am glad I was able to get to know her, and I look forward to getting to understand her even more in the future.
And now, without further ado – I will showcase some images of Alicia that highlight my friendship with her, as well as some other images which represent her character as a person so y’all can have some idea of how cool she is.
Me in the middle with the beard. Alicia is to my right. This was a barista Hocus Pocus movie party. It was super fun.My birthday party crew. Alicia is on the right.Alicia on my left and Ariana on my right during my birthday party.A cake Alicia got me for my birthday at work.Alicia with her cat, Jaxx.Alicia at the Muse Paint Bar night.Alicia with her boyfriend, Zacharia – who is also a cool guy.A sample of Alicia’s art.Alicia in her natural state.
Before I get too far with this post, I do have to say that this particular entry is part of a “blog train”, featuring mostly fellow writers from the Stonecoast MFA program – from which I graduated. It’s really a brilliant idea, suggested by my friend J.R. Dawson (I’ll link you up to her blog later, as part of the ‘train’) and it’s a way to help promote fellow bloggers and writers. If you like any of my stuff, you may want to check out some of their blogs as well, since we all pretty much learned our craft from the same set of people.
Photo by Helen Peppe
Hello. My name is Joseph Adam Carro, and I’m a writer. I even have a BFA and an MFA I can back that up with, if needed. (No, seriously…want to see?) I received my BFA from Saint Joseph’s College of Maine, Standish and then ten whole years later I received my MFA from the Stonecoast MFA program, through the University of Southern Maine. I work currently as a barista at a major coffee chain, and in my free time I wear many different hats. I’m a gamer, through and through. I’m addicted to The Last Of Us for PS3 (the story is so amazing and the multiplayer is the most balanced I’ve ever seen) and I’m currently re-playing Lord Of The Rings: War In The North. Chrono Trigger is probably my favorite video game of all time, and I’m currently playing through the DS version for the second time. (If you want to see a blog post I wrote about Chrono Trigger you can check it out HERE and then if you want to, on UPENDER where it was also published). I’m not just into video games, though…I also play Magic: The Gathering, Dungeons & Dragons, Descent, Munchkin, Legendary, Hero Clix, DC Deckbuilding Game, and more. I am a game fiend. Show me a game and I’ll play it.
My friend Matt on the left as Slade Wilson, and me on the right as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Cosplaying is a big hobby of mine. I cosplay mostly as Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars: Episode III, but I also like to cosplay as Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Jareth from Labyrinth. I’ve made a lot of friends cosplaying, and I just love doing it. I have interviewed many friends in a blog segment I call Cosplay Confessions, which you can see an example of HERE. I also love to dance, I have a YouTube channel where I post lip-sync videos (and I even starred in a short film which won first place in the International Mustache Film Festival), I am a ghost hunter/paranormal investigator, I dabble in music and can sort of play the keyboard by ear (and was once in a band). I am somewhat of an artist and photographer, a history and movie buff, and I of course love to read and write. Some of my favorite authors include Stephen King, Chuck Pahlaniuk, Terry Brooks, Carl Hiaasen, J.K. Rowling, and Dean Koontz (although there are plenty more). I’m not super into sports, although I do like watching hockey. I love hiking mountains and swimming and sometimes even going for a run.
So as you can imagine…with all these activities and hobbies, it’s kind of hard for me to find time to write. Yet, here I am, with this blog I try to update as often as I can. It’s a place for me to put my thoughts out into the æther, to share my love of various things, to proclaim my excitement…to tell stories. Stories are what vitalize me and I try to tell them as often as I can, whether it’s in an online format such as this one, or a screenplay, or a short story, or even the YA novel I’m working on.
Stonecoast is where I earned my MFA, and Stonecoast is what still gives me inspiration, and the proverbial footing, to keep doing this. Some of my best friends are people I met during my two years with the program, and I do believe most or all of those friendships will last quite a long time. It’s a place that fosters community, creativity, the passion for the craft. The faculty is top-notch and even though I’ve already graduated, they still keep in touch and sometimes even help with pep talks and advice even though they are extremely busy people. I had the pleasure of working under Dolen-Perkins Valdez (Wench, Balm), Michael Kimball (Undone), and Nancy Holder (Wicked series) directly, as they were my mentors throughout my time with Stonecoast. But I was also able to work with talented authors such as Theodora Goss (In The Forest Of Forgetting), James Patrick Kelly (Burn), Elizabeth Hand (Generation Loss), Elizabeth Searle (Girl Held In Home), David Anthony Durham (Acacia trilogy), and Suzanne Strempek Shea (Selling The Lite Of Heaven). These amazing mentors and teachers have helped me to hone my skills to what they have now become, and I’m anxious to show them what I can pull off in the future.
As far as my talented friends go, I have many of them – not just from Stonecoast but from all walks of life. One in particular, though, needs mentioning now as part of the Blog Train we’re on – and her name is J.R. Dawson.
J is one of the nicest, most enthusiastic writers and bloggers I have the pleasure to know. From what I know of her, and from what I’ve seen/read/heard, she writes mostly steampunk and fantasy/sci-fi and her writing is amazing. During her first semester, I witnessed a reading she gave and I was very impressed. She and I connected on the steampunk genre and have been friends ever since. I’ve enjoyed following her blog posts and writing for some time now, and now you can too.
I switched job locations so that I’d cut out 100 hours of driving time per week. I graduated from Stonecoast, my MFA program. I moved in with my girlfriend to one of the biggest cities in Maine (yeah, yeah – I can hear you laughing from here…but it’s a cool city). I also had lots of fun and attended many conventions and family events.
And, of course, my blog slowly made changes, too. I added the feature called Friend Files where I showcased one of my friends with each entry and why I appreciate them. I added the feature called Cosplay Confessions where I interviewed a cosplayer and asked them some basic questions about their art. I added Eight Simple Questions where I asked comic book creators, from all walks of the comic book industry, to give me the Cliff’s Notes version of what they experienced trying to get into the comic book business.
I want to take this opportunity to thank you all for coming to this little space of mine where I can post all my crazy ideas and photos. With this new year of blogging, I look forward to keeping up the features I’ve already established and perhaps adding some more. I would love to add a daily writing exercise blog post if possible, where I can post little writing exercises that I’ve done. Maybe another sort of interview feature where I interview writers and authors about their work.
So, thank you for the close to 4,000 views in a single year. Thank you for assisting me with various things out there, my fellow artists, friends, and cosplayers. I look forward to another year of fun blog posts.
Friend Files is a new feature I’ve added to Away With Words, this being just the tenth installment. I will be interviewing a friend of mine and showcasing why they are a friend to me and what I like about them, and also a mini-interview (five questions) that detail what they think of me. It’s a way to acknowledge my friends out there and what they’re up to and also introduce them to my larger group of friends, acquaintances, and anyone else who might be interested in reading.
Today, I will be talking about Alexandria Delcourt. Before I get into what I think of her, here is my mini-interview with Alex (exchanged over Facebook) where she jotted down just a few thoughts:
ALEXANDRIA DELCOURT: I live in Madison, WI and teach English at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater. I play the guitar and the violin and piano, write poetry, and love cooking! Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of free time watching nostalgic TV like Frasier, LOST, and Ally McBeal. I sometimes feel like I’m TOO MUCH like Ally McBeal, but less 90s.
ME:How exactly did we meet?
ALEXANDRIA DELCOURT: We met at Stonecoast in our first residency! You were one of the first people I talked to on the bus I think. You told me your name and I was like “Carro, is that Spanish?” And you were like “No. It’s French but it got changed” or something. And then for the rest of the residency, any time I noticed you being shy I tried to embarrassingly make you participate. I remember you laughing. I remember your fedora.
ME:What is one good memory you have involving me?
ALEXANDRIA DELCOURT: I have zero good memories involving you. Just kidding. Remember that time you and me and Frank stayed at Enza’s after AWP in Boston, and we all went to Cuchi Cuchi and got coordinating drinks and free dessert? And remember when Enza lost her phone and we had to walk down to a 7/11 where a guy who said he had it wanted to give it back? And we had been walking all day and my feet were hurting and so Frank and Enza walked ahead because Enza walks like a madman and you walked more slowly with me behind and we were like the backup if any shit went down.
ME:Why exactly are we still friends?
ALEXANDRIA DELCOURT: We are still friends because we became close in a couple little offshoot friend groups. There was a year in there when a few of us FB chatted like, every night, and shared our woes and triumphs with each other virtually, and that was all of our support systems in hard times. You don’t become unfriends after that.
ME:Anything you want me to plug?
ALEXANDRIA DELCOURT: Not really?
Alexandria, or “Alex” as our friends like to call her, is one of my first real friends I made at Stonecoast. As she said above, we had briefly talked on the bus about my name and how one of my French-Canadian ancestors had changed it from “Caron” to “Carro” in order to make it sound less French (inadvertently changing it into Spanish). Since I didn’t know too many people, and since we had already chatted, I spoke to her when I’d see her. At first, it was really only in passing because I was shy around people, but then during my second semester she became part of my core group of Stonecoast friends consisting of me, Alex, Frank, and Enza.
We all went to a writing conference in Boston called AWP and I was able to enjoy many adventures during that great week with Alex and our other core friends. We walked all over the city, we ate at great restaurants, we went to snazzy bars. It was great getting to know her, and often, afterward, we would chat online or randomly chat in the hallways in the Stone House where we went to our workshops.
During one of our summer semesters (I think it may have even been our first one), I gave Alex a ride to the airport when it was time to go home. She explained that her family had originally been from Maine and that they loved Amato’s so she wanted to stop for lunch at the one in Brunswick. I agreed, having long been a fan of Amato’s food. We ordered our food, had a good conversation and some sandwiches. It was a really nice moment and it was good to get some one-on-one with her since the majority of the time we hung out it was with our mutual Stonecoast buds. We also talked the entire way to the airport, and that is still one of my favorite Stonecoast memories.
Alex is a go-getter. She seems to have little moments of panic during stressful events, but I’ve seen her come out on top every single time. She is a wonderful writer, she is a good friend, and in the game of life – I know Alex will go far. It’s how she’s made. She networks, and she does it well. She has a really great sense of humor, and she and I have sparred many times back and forth online with sarcastic and overly-depressing remarks for the sake of comedy. She gets my sense of humor and I get hers, and I like that a lot. Alex also is really great at lending an ear. There have been a few times when she’s given me really solid advice on writing and on life in general, and I will always appreciate that about her.
I’m glad that I became friends with Alex.
And, with that, I will leave you with some photos relevant to my friendship with her:
Alex posed with me on a bridge in Brunswick, Maine. Photo by Enza Vescera.Me with Alex on the left at Bull Feeney’s in Portland, Maine.Alex with myself and a bunch of other first-semester Stonecoast students. Photo by Helen Peppe.Alex during one of our community dinners at the end of summer residency. Photo by Helen Peppe.Alex trying on hats at the Garment District in Cambridge during AWP week.Alex playing a violin her father made for her. She’s so talented.
In 2012, I was introduced to the Stone House during my first semester with Stonecoast; a low-residency MFA program that sits in the top ten MFA programs for writing in the entire country. It was July, and in the summer seasons the students stay at the Bowdoin College campus in Brunswick, Maine. Bowdoin is a beautiful campus with many things going for it, not the least of which is a bevy of old buildings (I’m a sucker for old buildings) to photograph or explore. The sleeping can be a little rough for some folks because as a student, you sleep in the dorms – which can be stifling and often don’t promote a sense of intimacy with other students. Because of this, many people opt out of the summer residencies when they can and go to Ireland for the program’s residency there. After all, who wants to have to sleep with a fan in a dorm room when you can be sleeping under the stars of Ireland instead?
During the winter residency, six months later in January, students stay at the Harraseeket Inn in Freeport, Maine – which is not too far at all from Brunswick. The Harraseeket is wonderful and provides very comfortable rooms or townhouses, smack-dab in the middle of a multitude of retail outlet stores. The meals are well-prepared by the Inn staff and they even leave you little chocolates on your pillow…and also, who doesn’t want a fireplace in their room? C’mon!
What these two residencies share in common, at least up until now, is that each day – the students are transported away from these places of sleep and friendly gathering and recuperation from the day’s events to a little historic stone house sitting in Wolfe’s Neck Woods State Park in Freeport, Maine. The Stone House, as it is called, is used by the Stonecoast MFA program to hold workshops, presentations, and other gatherings related to the program. It is a place away from the mundane activities of shopping and sleeping, a place that is meant to inspire and to create focus.
Columns near front entrance of the Stone House. This was taken during my first semester, the summer of 2012.Stonework around the side of the Stone House, taken in the summer of 2012.The right side of the Stone House. This was taken in 2012, during my first summer residency.
As you can see, the house is beautiful. It was built in 1917, and for a place that generally hasn’t been given the upkeep needed by the administration, it still looks to be in mostly-decent shape. It is not without its problems, however, which is why there are some folks who aren’t exactly sad to see it go. I can’t really blame them, either. For those who are handicapped in any way – there are no service elevators in the house and since it’s a historic building, there are strict guidelines that must be followed when it comes to restoration or upkeep, and part of that is not putting in any additions. On top of that, the house can get very hot in the summer and very chilly in the winter – which sometimes can detract from paying full attention to presentations or readings.
Still, for many of us who ended up within the Stone House for the duration of our Stonecoast careers, the house was a magical place. Of course, the Stonecoast program is about the spirit of writing, of community, and nothing defines it aside from the students and faculty involved in the program…but the house was magical.
At the time I received a call from Stonecoast and the person on the other end informed me that I’d been accepted, I was an extremely broken man and I cried. I was thirty years old. My marriage had just ended a few months before. I had no money and was living with a co-worker and her boyfriend, surrounded by the unpacked boxes of my former life as a married man of three years. I had devoted the past six years to a relationship I had fully believed in with every fiber of my being, and it was all dashed in only a few weeks worth of time. If I hadn’t gotten into Stonecoast, I may have been homeless or worse. The student loan money came just in the nick of time, and then my newfound friends and purpose saved my soul.
That summer, I made my way to the Bowdoin campus in Brunswick. After registering, I made small talk with a couple of people on the bus we took from Bowdoin to the Stone House, where we’d be having our Stonecoast orientation and lecture on the history of the house. We took a guided tour from an old man who’d lived there as a child. He told us stories of 1920’s movie starlets roaming the halls, of ghostly pirate ships seen in the waters of the nearby Casco Bay. We writers looked at each other with huge smiles. This place was ripe with story ideas. They were basically seeping from the walls, bleeding from the floorboards. The front yard was well-groomed and the surrounding woods were a good destination for those wishing for a peaceful walk to clear the head after lunch. A fox roamed the property, eliciting varied responses from the students and faculty. If you walked behind the house, you could see the ruins of an old “castle” poking out of a forest across the water – the remnants of an old hotel that burned down at the turn of the century, only a stone spire remaining which was just one more thing to make the Stone House itself seem magical.
My first workshop was held in that house. My first real friendships after being divorced were forged within those walls. I worked with the best writers and people I have ever met, in those little rooms under dim lights. There were conversations, lectures, amazing stories, emotions. We filled that place with life, and it’s sad to think of the house just sitting there in the woods, the winter class of 2015 its last breath, all the stories created there remaining as ghostly voices echoing across empty chambers.
To many, losing the house wasn’t a big deal. Stonecoast the program is where the home is, because that’s where our hearts are. But the Stone House, for people like me – was a refuge. A sanctuary. A place of healing and creative energy. And to know that I can no longer step inside, especially when I become an old man and wish to show my family the place that helped to save my life – hurts more than anything.
And now, I leave you with some photos from inside and around the Stone House. They are simply photos, but they do capture the essence of what life was like for two wonderful years of my life in the Stonecoast MFA program. The Stone House will be missed. It was a magical place, away from the city, away from almost everything except for inspiration.
The Stone House had many trees surrounding it.This was me reading over re-writes during downtime at the Stone House in July, 2012 – my first residency. Photo by Helen Peppe.The view of Casco Bay from behind the Stone House was great in the summer.The fox that resides on the property.The fields surrounding the Stone House are so peaceful.A photo of my first workshop group, taken right outside the Stone House, July of 2012.One of my last workshop groups, taken in January of 2014 from inside the Stone House.The “Castle” across from the Stone House.Me, giving my graduate reading in the summer of 2014 – inside the Stone House.My friends and I goofing off outside the Stone House in the winter of 2014.Casco Bay as seen from the Stone House property, in the winter of 2014.Friends laughing inside the Stone House.Stone House in the winter after a hike.
I often see people growing frustrated with their social media accounts. Do any of the following sound familiar?
– “I had to get off the grid for a while.”
-“Facebook is so lame. Everyone posts dumb stuff.”
-“Everyone’s ‘opinions’ are so annoying. I have no idea why I’m friends with some people on my list.”
-“Do I really care if you’re at the gym? Or that you ate an ice cream sandwich? NO. GTFO. So sick of hearing the same things from everyone.”
I don’t think any of these outlooks (and these are just some random examples) are inherently wrong – social media is what you make of it. Social media is there for you to use how you wish. For some of you, it might not be your thing. For those of you like me, it is most definitely your “thing”. Granted, I’m not a social media guru. I am a beast on Facebook, usually (some of my friends refer to Facebook as ‘Joebook’), and ho-hum on my wordpress blogs. Tumblr I still use pretty infrequently. Pinterest? I’m kicked off it. (Long story) Twitter? I suck at it. Instagram? Nope. MySpace? Yeah, I still check mine occasionally. Ello? I’m kind of ignoring it until more people I know use it a lot.
So why all the drama about social media all the time? During my marriage, social media was a constant point of contention. We were living in the MySpace age, then, and MySpace is a big part of how my ex-wife and I connected before we were married. She seemed to have forgotten that in the midst of all the “adult” things we were doing. Working our jobs, caring for our animals, going on trips – etc. She didn’t realize that social media, and the internet in general, was what helped me out of my shell of anxiety and was what introduced her to the man she would later come to love (if only for a short time).
I’ve always been somewhat of a lone wolf. Not really by choice, but more because I was always on the move. I can’t tell you how many times I changed schools or how often we moved to a new apartment, but I can tell you that because of all that I never perfected the art of making friends or making lasting connections with people. To this day I have trouble keeping friends close to me or letting people into my personal sphere. Again, not a choice – it’s just sort of how things ended up. I try to change that in as many ways as I can, which is why I love social media.
Before social media, I was lonely. Oh so lonely. My first experience with social media was my introduction to chat rooms. My uncle used to bring me to his college (one I would later go to and graduate from myself) and showed me how to use the chat rooms in the computer lounge. He smirked as he got someone to begin chatting with me – a young woman I will always remember as PrincessLeia. (Her chat handle was something to that effect) She endured my bumbling, nervous, teenage attempts at making conversation with the opposite sex. From that moment, I was hooked. I “spoke” with a real live girl and she didn’t spurn me or walk away in disgust or laugh at me. I was enamored with the possibilities this granted me. In my mind, I was almost akin to a superhero. By day, I was a socially-awkward teen who sweat from his palms enough to leave streaks on his desk. By night, I could be CHAT ROOM LAD – whose powers included being able to talk to ACTUAL PEOPLE without having a panic attack.
My interest in chat rooms only grew from there. A couple years later and I was a chat room pro, having only had a couple instances where I feared for my life when a man from British Columbia said he’d fly to my home and “kick [my] fucking skull in”. The other was when I created a chat handle having to do with the creepy movie Strangeland and this weird couple kept following me to every chat room I went into, saying they’d love to slice off my nipples and boil them for eating. Yup.
From chat rooms, I eventually graduated to message boards. Message boards are still around but are now all but defunct. The one in particular I used to post on was a message board for Top Cow Comics. I think it was just called the Top Cow Message Boards. Well, this was around the time that I was actually IN college so I spent a lot of time on the computers in between classes and during downtime when I waited for my grandmother to get out of work (I lived with her and she worked at the college, so I just commuted with her to and from school).The time I spent on the Top Cow Message Boards was a special time for me. It might seem silly to those of you who are adept at making friends in real life, but for me – the reality of my ‘real life’ was the hardest. There, on the net, I could enjoy meaningful conversation and friendships with people I’d never even met in real life. Still think it’s silly? Well, I still haven’t met most of them in real life but many of us are still friends almost fifteen years later. Chew on that. We’ve called each other, written letters to each other, played video games online with one another, taken part in collaborative art projects or writing projects together, sent each other gifts, helped each other with problems. It was a good system. Many of the friends I garnered from that time have been better and longer lasting friends than some of the ones I have made in “real life”. These people inspired creativity in me and also supported me when nobody else could be there. I even created a comic strip at one point which featured characters based on people I talked to on the message boards. I called it “The Comic Geeks”.
This was the final “strip” I did in a limited run of comic strips written and drawn by me featuring friends from my message board.
From message boards and chat rooms came something bigger – MySpace. MySpace was a natural place for me to flock to. It enabled me to express myself better than ever before. I could put music I wanted on my page and people would know “Hey, Joe really likes Pitbull.” I could change the color schemes of the background and create my own images to put in it so that people would know I have an artistic side. I could document my adventures with photos and text, almost like an online journal or diary. MySpace enabled me to get through my work day with some sanity. MySpace, as we all know, eventually was replaced by the monolithic social media program we all love and hate called FACEBOOK.
I didn’t really find Facebook – Facebook found me.
MySpace was waning right around the time that Facebook, and my marriage, was just taking off. I got married in 2008 and that’s around the time that my last MySpace post was entered. Everyone, for whatever reason, began to use Facebook instead. So, naturally, I started posting wedding photos and honeymoon photos for friends and family to see. It was an exciting time. I went to Viriginia Beach and had lots of fun thanks to my aunt letting us use one of her timeshares there for the week. People would comment on photos of us at the zoo or on the beach or of our marriage and it felt good to have people, if only online for the most part, involved in our union.
A photo from my wedding reception. From left to right: Gary (brother), Mom, Me, Debbie (Aunt), Alex (Brother), Monika (Sister)
Me in 2008 at the Virginia Biological Zoo
Unfortunately, my marriage ran into some troubles a couple years later. Money issues, mainly. The wife thought that my use of social media was a waste of time. I thought she was crazy because it was literally my only outlet and my only contact with the outside world away from our myopic little marriage life. In any case, we ended up splitting and I moved out. After that, during the loooooooong period of self-loathing and depression, Facebook was my biggest savior. My sister and other family and friends hung out with me a lot, trying to console me – but it was during the wee hours of the night, when I couldn’t call on any friends, when I needed someone the most. With Facebook, I felt like someone WAS there. I could expell my anxiety into the void of a Facebook post and all would be well. Sort of.
Having a lot of emotion rolling through your body and mind is like tinder for creative thought, at least for me. I began to write things on Facebook. I began to make poignant posts, insightful musings. Eventually, one of my old high school friends messaged me and reminded me that I should try to get into a writing program she graduated from called the Stonecoast MFA Program. Well, I finally attended and a lot of it had to do with my ability to connect with people online. As a prospective student for Stonecoast, I was supposed to acquire three letters of recommendation – one of which was supposed to be from a published author. So I began to jump through hoops to make the most of my connections. That same high school friend who messaged me said she knew of a Stonecoast alum, a romance novelist from Seattle, who might take a look at one of my writing samples and give me a letter of recommendation. Excited, I began chatting with this novelist through the Facebook messaging program and we soon had a good back and forth. She read my story, e-mailed me her thoughts, and sent out her letter of recommendation to the school. I also acquired a letter from a professor I’d had during my time in undergrad who’d published several books and who remembered my work even though it had been around ten years since I’d worked with him. Finally, I also received a letter from another uncle of mine who writes for television in Los Angeles, and that technically is a publication right there. To top it all off, I was also given a letter of recommendation by the producer of the movie Marmaduke – who’d read some of my script writing and decided to do me a favor and send out a letter to the school. So – through the internet, and largely because of social media – I was able to not only get three letters from three different published authors, but also a bonus one from a Hollywood movie producer. I put in my time at Stonecoast for two years and am now an alum myself. Thanks, social media.
I’m the dude with the beard, third one in, about to receive his MFA in creative writing through the Stonecoast MFA program.Ta daaaaaaaaa – thanks (in part) to social media
Another artistic medium I’ve been able to branch out with aside from my artwork and writing, due to social media, has been cosplaying. If you know me, you know that I cosplay as three main characters – Jareth the Goblin King (from Labyrinth), Abraham Lincoln (from Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter), and Obi-Wan Kenobi (from Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith). If I had even suggested to my teenage self or even me in my early 20’s that I should put on a costume when it’s not Halloween and parade around in front of hundreds of people – I would have had an instant panic attack. To be honest, it’s still quite difficult for me to get up in front of more than a handful of people but I’ve been able to hack away at my own mental walls over the years through the use of social media and the support I’ve gotten from everyone with creative endeavors. There are tons and tons of trolls lurking out in the wilds of the interwebz, but for the most part you can count on some kind words from genuine people who appreciate hard work and dedication to a hobby or art form. I am constantly inspired by men and women on my Facebook feed who write amazing things and get them published or who create works of art to post online, photography, costumes, dance, music, singing, film. It’s a plethora of art and it costs almost nothing. This is an amazing resource we have and through social media we can not only consume untold amounts of art and culture – but we can grow because of it. When I see someone post an amazing photo they took of ocean waves rolling in – it makes me want to be a better photographer. If I see someone do an amazing dance move, I want to try to learn it. If someone produces a piece of art or writing that gives me goosebumps – I want to try and create something as raw, as part of me, as that was to them. It’s a constant cycle of creative support. So, instead of being an awkward and panicky person who is afraid to express himself – I am the lord of Joebook and on top of that, I’m not afraid to display my cosplaying side via my cosplaying Facebook page you can see HERE.
Me as Abraham Lincoln in Salem, Mass posing with people for a photo. I never would have done this back in high schoolHundreds of people took my photo when I went to Salem as Obi-Wan. In the past, I would’ve been sweating buckets.
One thing, though, that humbled me and made me examine my relationship to social media happened recently in the summer while I was at my graduation residency with Stonecoast. I was renting a farmhouse with around eight of my school friends and we were all to pay a certain amount to lessen the burden on everyone else, financially – not to mention getting to hang out in a house full of friends for ten days. I showed up in my Hyundai Elantra and had the time of my life for a couple of days, at least until one morning when I was giving my friend Frank a lift to his graduate presentation and a deer burst from the trees to my right as I was cresting a hill. Nobody was coming in the other lane so I veered left and began to brake, thinking the deer would have time to change direction or stop – but it tried to leap over the passenger side of the car and I slammed into it as it jumped, not clearing my hood. I braked hard and veered back to the right, not wanting to get stuck in the left lane and the deer flew from my car as the brakes took. We came to a stop and helplessly watched as the deer careened head over hoof along the tar. For a moment, I thought that I hadn’t hit the deer all that hard, that it would get up and run into the woods, that my car would be okay. But then my car started smoking from underneath the hood and looking back at the deer – it lay in the middle of the road, unmoving. My car was a loss. I had no money in the bank, having just spent $500 on a new water pump the week before graduation. I had to have the car towed back to my garage to avoid any sort of “storage” fee for keeping it – as I still had to worry about graduation in a few days. So, my car was towed and I then had to rely on the kindness of my school friends for rides to and from the house we all had our workshops in.
My totaled car. It doesn’t look terrible but there was lots of stuff damaged under the hood. $3,000 worth of damage.
I was devastated. I’d been having a hard time with cars lately (another car had died on me a few months before) and I’d been spending a lot of my money on them, money I really didn’t have. I tried to ignore this bad bit of luck and focus on graduation. But then one night a couple days after the deer incident, my school friends summoned me into the big living room of the house and presented me with a card. I looked around at all of their faces and opened the card. Inside were signatures from students as well as faculty, and a whole lot of money. I began to cry, and so I also received lots of hugs in addition to the money and the signatures. I thanked them all and then was told on top of all that, that my portion of the farmhouse rental was taken care of – and the same with food. I couldn’t believe it. I cried for a long while that night. Over the next couple of days, I was approached by many other students and faculty who wanted to help but didn’t have cash. I told them it was okay, but they told me they still wanted to help and that I should set up a GoFundMe page or something. So, when I got back home after graduation – I set one up. Through GoFundMe and social media, people began to donate. I soon had enough money to not only secure a decent car (a 2009 Nissan Versa) but also to get an apartment because I had to move out of my current living situation relatively soon after this coming winter. Being proactive, my girlfriend and I sought out a decent place and were able to pay the deposit and first month’s rent largely due to the money I received.
My new place!
Social media literally saved my life. I had a degree, but no money – and all the bad luck came at the same time. People I care about rallied around me, lifted me up, and gave me some wings to light out on my own with. It was unconditional, largely unsolicited and came 100% from these people I love, who I’ve invested my own time and interest in. I have never before felt such an amazing amount of love from other human beings. I am still honestly shocked at how it all unfolded and I don’t know if I can ever give these people the proper thank yous that I think they deserve. THANK YOU, if you’re reading this – if you’re one of those people who donated. I don’t know if I can ever fully repay you, but I will try and I will never forget this act of kindness as long as I have my own thoughts.
Social media can be what you make of it. For me, it’s a creative outlet. A bonding opportunity. A journal. A storytelling device. A time capsule. A thread to humanity. As long as you don’t let it consume you and define you (which is why ‘unplugging’ every now and then might be a good thing) then it is one of the most healthy tools in the world to help foster human connection and sanity of the psyche. I’ll see you on Facebook.
My name is Joseph Carro and this is my new blog and, lucky you – my first-ever post.
First of all, let’s get to the whys and whats:
WHAT
Glad you asked! (Just play along) This blog will be primarily for my rantings and ravings that I normally post on Facebook. I already have a review blog, called The Average Joe Review Blog – where I post reviews on films, video and board games, books and comic books and restaurants…so I will try to keep that kind of thing to a minimum. Here, on Away With Words, I will post rants and rambling thoughts and even samples of my writing (I’m an aspiring author, after all).
WHY
Well, this one’s easy. First off, I needed another outlet for my longer posts. Facebook is nice, but not very conducive to longer posts. Aside from that, I need to get myself out there into the blogosphere. I am also attending my final graduation semester at the Stonecoast MFA residency and for our master class before graduation, we’re tasked with creating a writing blog (and I didn’t want to use my review blog for that)
So, I hope that answered some questions for you. I’m not purporting to be anything more than an average Joe with opinions and thoughts and stories you might be interested in tuning in for. I hope to make this a semi-regular blog, but I wouldn’t expect too much from me until I graduate in July. (Wish me luck)
Away With Words 