It had been a rough night. Not rough as in end-of-the-world, but annoying and depressing and monotonous enough to make me want to get out, so I finally did. Damn the consequences. Damn my job. Damn the world.
I had it in mind that I would find something – some sort of an adventure – something to take away from the mind-numbing existential crisis that was the retail experience of my work life. I wanted a story to tell. It was my Friday, after all. Weekends were for creating stories, and that had always held true for me.
With adventure in mind, I left the confines of my claustrophobic and overpriced apartment in the West End and went out into the open air of Portland; My city. In doing so, I inadvertently ran into a couple of my friends who were going bar hopping together, and they burst into greetings when they saw me from across the street.
Franklin was a cosplayer friend of mine, and he was a good ten years older than me. But he was funny and down to earth. Spencer was a former landlord of mine, renting out a room for me in his home when I’d needed it most – referred by Franklin, actually. I liked them both and hadn’t seen them in a while.
We chatted, we caught up. I found myself first in a bar with them called The Bearded Lady, drinking absinthe and dancing by myself in the corner to some music in between conversations with my friends. I met a man who introduced himself only as Zafir. He spoke with a thick accent I couldn’t place and had a pencil mustache gracing his upper lip. He had his eye on two ladies, or so he told me as he raked them with his stares. They were gorgeous, and I knew they were out of my league. I sucked in some of my drink as I took in their curves, and then ultimately pushed them out of my mind as I silently wished Zafir good luck in his endeavors.
He asked me what brought me to The Bearded Lady.
“Chance,” I said, taking another swig from my potent absinthe cocktail and shrugging.
He seemed to like that, and gave me the faintest smile. He supplied me with his own story of how he had met three of the other people upstairs with us at another bar called “Sonny’s” and that they had all sort of been bar-hopping ever since.
“I love him” he pointed at a man with white hair and glasses, wearing a Hawaiian shirt. “And her,” he said, pointing to an attractive young woman in a dress barely covering her skin, drunkenly tapping keys on a typewriter. “And him,” he said, pointing to a suave-looking man in a purple suit, fashionable, sitting on the couch and regarding everyone else with a curious and discerning eye as he swirled his drink in his free hand, the lamp next to him casting a glow on one side of his face.
And then, when Zafir was gone and I was by myself – indulging in the music – a woman with long dark hair and even darker clothing came to stand next to me. Without a word, she slid her hand softly over mine, like we had been in a relationship for years. Silently, she stared at me, grinning, daring me to do or say something. I disappointed her. “Sorry,” I said. “I’ve got a girlfriend.” She dropped her grip from my hand and gently patted it as if saying “Your loss, friend” before letting it go. We both stared at jewelry in a case in front of us – (an art exhibit) – for a long while before she moved on to easier prey in the room.
And then, there was more conversation, scattered around The Bearded Lady. I talked with an older gentleman about E-Class cars, though I mostly just listened. I had a discussion about body image with a young woman who was fiery and angry and at war with the world. I spoke about fidelity, about life and what it all means. I shared stories with complete strangers. I helped the DJ clean up stray cans and glasses other people had left upstairs when the party was over and it was time to go home, though I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to.
When we finally decided to take our leave from The Bearded Lady, I took a last glance at it before we set off – my body warm and buzzing from the alcohol.
On the way home, I saw a friend of mine named Emily and her boyfriend Jason coming back from hanging in the Old Port. When Emily saw me, she shrieked my name and ran to me, throwing her arms around my neck. We hugged, and I hugged Jason as well, and introduced the both of them to Franklin and Spencer and we resolved to hang out again soon. They were the type of friends I never hung out with again soon, but it felt good to say anyway. I continued on with Franklin and Spencer.
We trekked through the West End, people watching and cracking jokes. Franklin was now renting out a room at Spencer’s, and the two of them invited me over to watch Star Wars fan films and have some beers with them. I accepted. We watched the films on a projector against the broad side of a shed, and we laughed as someone nearby took offense to the volume of our entertainment and cranked up their own music to drown out the audio from the movie. We didn’t care, because although the movie was playing, we were thinking about the night behind us and talking about our individual experiences at The Bearded Lady.
I returned home eventually, enjoying the brisk air and laying in the dark of my room in the apartment. My awful day was made tolerable by night, and even enjoyable with the kindness of friends and the random chaos of strangers in Portland. I totally forgot my troubles, and didn’t pay for a single drink the entire evening – and this is why I count myself lucky most of the time. It seems like whenever I seek out an adventure or a story – one is there waiting for me, across the street, in a cozy bar, or coming back from downtown.
Recently, my wife and I decided to do a sort of mutual Q&A post for our respective blogs. I’ve always enjoyed the whole “blog train” type of blog posts, where lots of different bloggers promote other blogs by their friends, but I’ve never really thought of doing one with my wife. Until now, anyway. It’s almost our one year anniversary of marriage, so we thought now especially would be a good time to sort of check in with one another. And, who knows – we may even make this a regular thing on each other’s blogs.
So, with that said – I am just going to get to answering my wife’s questions. But also – please check out my wife’s blog, Beyond Pretty Thoughts. She’ll be answering questions that I sent her, and she posts a lot of lifestyle content I’m sure you’ll enjoy. She’s the best.
PEYTON: What is your favorite thing about our marriage?
Well, that’s kind of a tough one. There are so many things I love about you and about our marriage. I can’t believe it’s basically been a year already. The time certainly does fly with you. I guess maybe one of the things I like best about our marriage is that, generally, we are after the same things. We both love to be creative, spontaneous, and practical. We both carry the same energy, and we both seem to have the same sort of general direction for our future. I guess that’s probably it. That we’re so “in tune” with one another, without even trying.
PEYTON: What memory comes to mind first from our dating days? The memory that first comes to mind from our dating days is basically just how chaotic it all seemed to be. I moved twice in one month. We both went through breakups soon before. There was a lot of drama at work. I’m glad all of that is behind us, but in a way I’m happy we went through it because we each proved that we both really wanted to be where we are now with one another.
PEYTON: What about me inspires you to be a greater man?
You inspire me. I love you with all my heart, and so I want to be the best version of me that I can be. For you, for us. You are wonderful and I want to match that.
PEYTON: What is one thing I have done for you recently? Lately, you’ve been giving me rides. We only have the one car right now, and most of the time you’re willing and able to give me a ride either to or from work, even when I tell you I can walk. But you do lots of other stuff. Even before I started typing up this post, you plugged in my computer for me, because you were already plugging in your phone. So thoughtful.
PEYTON: After losing faith in marriage due to a divorce, what made you so sure about marrying me? Marriage is a gamble. A very big gamble. After my last marriage failed, I said I would never marry anyone again. But that was because I hurt, and I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone again. Regardless if she meant to or not, my ex-wife really just hurt me and tore down all the progress I’d built. I had fears, and I still have worries, but mostly – you have proven yourself to be more forward-thinking. I’m also more mature than I once was, and with that and my previous experience with marriage, I feel I have a better handle on it now. Every day is a choice you have to make to be with your significant other, and every day I choose you. You are my person. I can’t help how you think on your end, but I do try to show you in little ways every day how much I love you and want to be with you.
PEYTON: What is something I could work on and develop? Personality or career wise? Personality? Don’t change. I love you for who you are. It’s a huge mistake to want someone to change after you get together. That’s actually part of the reason my last marriage ended. You are smart, funny, and outgoing in your own way. One suggestion I might have had would be to open up more, but you are already doing that on your own. Career-wise, I would say that you have the most control over that, and that you should do what makes you happy. I think you’re on the right path right now. In any case, you seem to be doing a much better job than I am at the moment in that department.
PEYTON: In what ways could our marriage be stronger? It’s hard to say. I feel that it’s pretty strong right now, but obviously there is always room for improvement. I would guess that maybe we’d move into a direction where more family is involved on a day-to-day basis. You and I are so close, and growing closer every day (if that’s possible) – but I want us to be central to our respective families. Hosting get-togethers, having family over, etc. Other than that, maybe just trying to communicate better. We have occasional instances where aggravations are made worse because we both make assumptions.
PEYTON: What do I do that makes you feel most loved?
When you “care” about me. When you know that I need to spend time with my brothers and my sister and my friends, when you care about my little pursuits with writing and my other hobbies, and when you encourage me with my health and work. I feel loved when you have so much investment in “me”.
PEYTON: Where would you like to see us in five years? Ideally? We would have a house, better jobs, and maybe have even moved to a more prosperous area. There’s nowhere to go but up, and right now we’re both being made to stagnate in various ways due to high rent, high cost of living, and bad credit from the past. I want a future with you that doesn’t rely on moving from apartment to apartment, with no room for our stuff. I want to have my own “man cave”. Maybe we’d have another dog or a cat, maybe we’d start to think about having a family. It really all depends on our outer circumstances.
PEYTON: What could I do to make you feel more confident in our future? Just continue to be faithful to me, to be honest with me, and to bear with me as I try to make my own way in this crazy world. We will each experience loss, success, temptation, anger, happiness, and everything else under the sun. But we must remain true to one another, and never forget how hard we had to work to get where we are, and how hard we fought for one another – despite the circumstances. It can be hard to not get frustrated during trying times, but we each have to remember that those are the times where it’s the most necessary. We need to really be there for each other. We have to keep being a team.
The first time I saw Becky Dearborn, I was very intrigued by her. She wore a school uniform, which consisted of a long, muted-in-color tartan or plaid skirt, knee-high stockings, shiny black shoes, and a clean white blouse. She wore an accompanying tie which sometimes varied in color during later times I would see her. Her hair was close-cropped and done up in a bob style, and to top things off she wore a black choker around her neck. She reminded me of Natalie Portman as Mathilda in the movie Leon: The Professional.
I’d been swimming at the local pool with my best friend Tom when his girlfriend Sarah showed up. Sarah was gorgeous – with long, curly blonde hair and what I thought at the time was a very voluptuous body. I never noticed girls like that back when I lived in Lewiston, Maine. Not having ever had much of a real girlfriend due to my social awkwardness, I eyed the two of them from afar and watched them kiss after he brought himself out of the pool. He was lean, muscular, and a far cry from my own skinny, malnourished body. Tom and I were a lot different, and I assumed the only reason he ever hung out with me was because he and I were both outcasts – me because of my outsider status and poverty-stricken background, and he because of his strange personality quirks (he wore a jester hat around town). We both connected through our love of heavy metal music and thrash metal music. He and our mutual friend Chris had bought me the White Zombie album for my birthday the previous fall.
As I began to grow self-conscious watching Tom and Sarah kiss, I averted my eyes. That’s when I noticed Becky standing outside the pool area, behind the fence. Just the right amount of freckles dotted the bridge of her nose. My heart quickened as I scanned her figure, my hungry teen eyes noticing the outline of her body behind the fabric of her blouse and skirt. I had lots of hormones flowing through me, and no outlet for them.
As I stared, her eyes flicked my way, her slender fingers curling around the chain links on the fence between us. Self-consciously, I dived into the pool, trying to make a quick, expert-looking dive, almost as if I hadn’t seen her at all. I’m sure it was far less graceful than I’d hoped, but as I sank to the bottom of the pool, the image of Becky’s eyes remained with me. Her eyes were gorgeous, green, almost blue. I reminded myself that she’d never be interested in a skinny guy like me, though. Especially not someone as poor as I was. I stayed at the bottom for a long time, until I felt like my lungs were going to burst open.
When I finally emerged, Tom was diving back into the pool and the girls were gone. I waited for him to come back to the surface.
“Who was that girl?” I said, still huffing for air.
“Sarah’s friend,” Tom said, wiping water from his face. He spit into the water, away from us. “Her name’s Becky.”
I was silent, digesting this nugget of information, nodding my head, trying to look indifferent, wiping the leftover water from my own face.
“Why?” He finally asked.
I reddened, looked away.
“Ohhhhh…..” he said, smiling. “I get it. Well, she doesn’t have a boyfriend.” He raised his eyebrows and grinned, winking.
I submerged myself again, trying to hide the scarlet rushing through my face.
Over the next couple of weeks, Tom arranged his hangouts with me and coordinated them so that his girlfriend, Sarah, would be there – and also so she could bring her friend Becky along. It worked out for him because he got to hang out with me as well as Sarah, but he was also entertained by my interest in Becky because he’d never seen me pine over a girl before. With increasing frequency, the four of us hung out during any available moment.
One lazy afternoon during a hangout at the park – I got to know Becky a bit better. She told me she didn’t consider herself extremely religious, but her parents were devout – almost extreme – and they rarely let her outside, especially after her curfew – and they especially didn’t like boys around. Especially poor boys with bad families. Long after Tom, Sarah, and Becky had left the playground, I sat in silence and thought. I had to make a move. I was still ignorant about such things, but even I could see the signs. They were all there.
One day soon after, I found myself working up the courage to ask Becky out. I was shaking all over. I’d told Tom about it and he was ecstatic, telling Sarah, who obviously told Becky. And so it was known what my intentions were, and when I planned to do it. This information did not help me in my endeavors. Everyone knew, everyone was ready, everyone except for me.
They were at Sarah’s, and Tom walked with me to her trailer on the outskirts of the park, trying to offer support. My first wingman ever. My legs were wobbly and my heart thumped in my throat. The two girls were in the window at the forefront of the trailer, Sarah’s parents gone for the day. As we approached, I looked at the sky, at the ground, at anything – trying to appear nonchalant. But Becky was staring at me, Sarah was staring at me – two women, two pretty young women – and here I was goofy as ever. Thin. Unkempt. Ridiculous. I felt like I wanted to be sucked into the vacuum of space, away from the situation.
I made small talk and stared up at Becky through the screen window as Tom jumped off and back onto a gardening area over and over again with impatience. My throat tightened every time I thought about uttering the words to Becky. She and Sarah occasionally glanced back and forth at each other, smiling. They knew I was scared shitless. But it was now or never.
“Becky,” I said, clearing the air.
Silence. She looked down at me. “Yes?”
There was more long, uncomfortable, excruciating silence as I battle with myself to find words.
“Will you go out with me?”
As the question tumbled awkwardly from my lips, I regretted it immediately. A hot rush of embarrassment flowed through my chest and into my face and limbs. I quivered involuntarily. She would obviously say “no” – and then she and Sarah would laugh at me, at my attempt to be with someone pretty when I was so unattractive and lame.
“Yes,” she said. “Took you long enough.” She beamed at me through the screen of the window.
Tom punched me in the arm. “Congratulations, man!”
From then on, Becky and I had solo visits with each other, which happened mostly at her trailer. No boys were allowed so I would have to talk to her in hushed tones from beneath her window, and I thought of myself as Romeo from Romeo and Juliette. The moonlight would be shining down on me and my bike and we’d whisper to each other about life, about our dreams, but it all just felt temporary. Occasionally I would have to hide as her father or mother knocked on her door, listening to their conversations, secretly knowing I would most likely never pursue much more with her.
Eventually, because I was still awkward and didn’t “move in for the kill” – Becky broke up with me. It was a few weeks into our relationship, and because I was so socially awkward and because I had lingering problems from being molested as a child, I never made any “moves” on her aside from hugging. I had no context for what was acceptable and when to do certain things in a normal relationship. I sure didn’t want to make her feel the way I had felt when I was involuntarily touched, and so I just basically never touched her. I was devastated.
Months after we broke up and time had passed, I would be riding my bike through the neighborhood and would sometimes spy a boy underneath her window. Another Romeo, maybe even a Lothario. But Becky and I, we would make eye contact, she would look away, I would carry on. It was like we’d never met.
Even though that first foray into dating for me ended in disaster, it was actually a win for me. Not only had I overcome my anxiety in a big way by asking her out (though I still had much work ahead of me in that department), but I had also managed to get a pretty girl to say “yes” to me and not just make fun of me for my looks as had sometimes happened in the past. It was the beginning of my long journey to accept who I am today. For that, I am grateful to Becky, and to my very, very awkward teenager self.
Without that awkward first step into the world of dating, into the world full of complexities involving the opposite sex, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t have learned certain lessons, I wouldn’t be married to the wonderful and beautiful woman I now have the luck of being able to call my wife. Becky and I were never meant to be, but we were probably meant to be for that short period of time in the mid-1990’s, and that summer when I started my long journey of self-discovery. I look back on that time with some embarrassment, yes – but also with the knowledge that even me back then could work up the courage to go for something or someone I really wanted. That’s what’s really important, and it’s something I try never to forget about myself.
Well, we’re right in the middle of summer and at the theaters right now, people are lining up to see their favorite summer blockbuster action films. I love action films – and you can see my Top Ten Favorite Action Films right HERE – but I think one of my favorite genres is Comedy. Whenever my wife and I sit down to watch a movie during dinner, or whenever I want to wind down for the night if I’m by myself, I pop in one of my favorite comedy films. Just like the rest of the other Top Ten lists on my blog (you can see the entire list under the Categories tab on my main page, under Top Ten), this list is numbered for the purposes of this post, but in reality the films sort of fluctuate up and down on the list from time to time. Yet, overall, this list stays pretty much the same over time, consistently, which is how I know that they’re actually my top ten. Does that make sense? I hope so.
Let’s get to it!
10: HIGH FIDELITY (2000)
PLOT: Rob Gordon (John Cusack) is just an average Chicago record store owner (and compulsive list maker) who happens to be going through a break up with his girlfriend, Laura (Iben Hjejle). As his two employees, Dick (Todd Louiso) and Barry (Jack Black) attempt to cheer him up on their shifts at Championship Vinyl, Rob sifts through all of his past relationships to examine his all-time top breakups in order to make sense of his current situation and hopefully make things right.
WHY I LOVE IT: High Fidelity is really, truly, one of the all-time top underrated comedy films. The reason why it’s so low on my list is that, technically, it’s a romantic comedy. While I think rom-coms are fine, in general they don’t really have the same amount of laughs for me. However, I guess being a guy and having failed my own share of relationships made me identify with Cusack’s character, Rob, in a way that made all the laughs really hit home. On top of that, Jack Black gives one of his usual manic performances as Barry, and even Tim Robbins shows up as a foil to Rob as he tries to get into the pants of Laura. Honestly, if you have not seen this movie, please do yourself a favor and watch it. You won’t regret it, especially if you love Cusack. Also, I can’t help but note that Rob would love being on a list of top comedy films.
09: TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE (2004)
PLOT: When the anti-terrorist organization known as Team America discovers that Kim Jong Il (Trey Parker) has a secret plan involving weapons of mass destruction, they enlist the help of actor and rising Broadway star Gary Johnston (Trey Parker) to infiltrate the terrorist’s ranks and discover what’s going on. With the help of the team’s financier, Spottswoode (Daran Norris) and his newfound teammates Chris (Matt Stone), Sarah (Masasa Moyo), Lisa (Kristen Miller), and Joe (Trey Parker) – Gary must use all of his training to save the world from Kim Jong Il’s dastardly plans.
WHY I LOVE IT: Though the entire film consists of puppets and props, the clever use of practical effects combined with an insanely funny script deliver this film up into the higher reaches of the comedy pantheon. Matt Stone and Trey Parker bring their South Park talents to this hilarious jab at American politics and military oversteps in the civilized world. All the music bits (I used to own the soundtrack on CD) and especially the hilarious vomiting scene are what keep this quirky film in my top ten. It rises slightly above High Fidelity almost solely because it’s not a rom-com, but lags behind others on this list because it’s almost more of an animated film than an actual feature film. Still, there’s not a time I’ve watched this that the jokes have become old.
08: NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (2004)
PLOT: In the small Idaho town of Preston, oddball teen Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder) tries to get through his day-to-day school life despite his even odder family and wacky schoolmates. When Napoleon befriends the new kid, Pedro (Efrem Ramirez), he finds himself helping Pedro run for class president. In the meantime, what to do about his meddlesome Uncle Rico (Jon Gries) and his internet-hogging brother Kip (Aaron Ruell)?
WHY I LOVE IT: We can all identify with Napoleon in some way and that’s certainly part of the draw for this 2004 film. What Napoleon Dynamite does really well, though, is produce comedy in lots of subtle and unexpected ways. What brings this film above the others for me is just that. It’s a comedy, but without being too over-the-top. The characters are really where the film shines, producing endless one-liners people still spout today – especially with Rico, Kip, and Napoleon himself. However, it falls behind some of the other films on my list because it’s a little too low-key, and many people miss its humor, meaning people generally either love or hate this movie. Still, it’s one of my favorites and I rewatch it at least once a year, in general.
07: AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME (1999)
PLOT: In a dastardly scheme to render Austin Powers (Mike Myers) powerless, Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) sends some of his agents to the 1960’s to request the aid of the portly Fat Bastard (Mike Myers) in stealing Austin Powers’ mojo. In order to get his mojo back, Powers must travel back in time to the swingin’ 60’s, and is helped in his quest by the sexy and fiery Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham).
WHY I LOVE IT: Though it’s a sequel, The Spy Who Shagged Me is one of the rare cases in which the sequel is better than its predecessor. The jokes land more often and with better results, the characters are more interesting, and the cinematography and special effects are much sharper and flashy. Though I still like the other two films in the trilogy, this one will always be my absolute favorite. Mike Myers is at top-notch here, playing three different characters with the same comic energy and succeeding. Heather Graham is delightful, and even Will Ferrel shows up in a cameo as the hilarious Mustafa. This is all the hilarity and more of the original Austin Powers jammed into one slick package. Let’s hope that the rumors about a new Austin Powers movie are true!
06: NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE (2001)
PLOT: “Plain” Janey Briggs (Chyler Leigh) is the object of ridicule at John Hughes High School, with her paint-covered overalls and her dorky glasses. When popular football star Jake Wyler (Chris Evans) seems to take an interest in her, she is suspicious. She should be, however, because little does she know that Jake has taken a bet to transform Janey into prom-queen material by the time prom rolls around.
WHY I LOVE IT:Not Another Teen Movie is a hilarious send up of several different films including the following: American Pie, American Beauty, Bring It On, Clueless, She’s All That, Road Trip, Can’t Hardly Wait, 10 Things I Hate About You, Never Been Kissed, and even the 1980’s classic The Breakfast Club. As far as a spoof film goes, it’s really top-notch, and the laughs don’t stop all the way through. There are lots of cameos from actors like Molly Ringwald and Paul Gleason (both from The Breakfast Club) and the main cast, including Chris Evans, Chyler Leigh, Jaime Pressly, Eric Christian Olsen, and Mia Kirshner all do a great job in their respective character archetypes. I would highly recommend this to anyone, especially if you’ve seen most of the movies it’s spoofing. Even without seeing the original films, the main story is stitched together well and provides a great sendup of teen movies in general, so really anyone can enjoy it.
05: THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998)
PLOT: Ted Stroehmann (Ben Stiller) met the love of his life, Mary Jenson (Cameron Diaz) way back in high school. When he accidentally mucked things up, they both moved on. Now, living in Providence, Rhode Island as an adult man – Ted can’t stop thinking about Mary. When he hires a private detective named Pat Healy (Matt Dillon) to find her, Pat falls for her too, prompting Ted to take matters into his own hands.
WHY I LOVE IT: Ben Stiller is hands-down one of my favorite comedic actors of all time. In There’s Something About Mary, we get to see Stiller do some of his best work. This movie has some great charm, some very great jokes (the truck stop, anyone?), and even a musical number. While the story somewhat gets lost in the tangle of characters, the characters themselves more than make up for that. The Farrelly Brothers really struck gold with this film, and it’s definitely one you must own on Blu-Ray.
04: ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY (2004)
PLOT: In the wild world of newscasting in the 1970’s, there is one man who tells it like it is (at least as long as it’s on a teleprompter); San Diego’s Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrel). When an enterprising woman journalist named Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) begins to rise to Burgundy’s level, Ron starts to worry about his job and so do the other guys from the news office. With a lot on the line, the news team must try to up their game if they want to stay relevant.
WHY I LOVE IT: Will Ferrell is really what holds this movie together. Though it’s chock-full of great scenes, great characters, and great actors – the story is sort of disjointed and inconsistent, which is why it’s not in my top three. However, the reason it’s above the others on this list is because it’s not an animated film, it’s not a spoof, and it’s not subtle. Anchorman is really just comedy at its best, and it can hold it’s own.
03: THE 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (2005)
PLOT: Andy Stitzer (Steve Carell) is a nerd who is passionate about almost everything; Video Games, Karaoke, Painting Miniatures, Comic Books, and Action Figures. With all those hobbies, he’s just never had the time to have an actual girlfriend. When some work friends hear of Andy’s plight, they take turns trying to get him laid in a series of zany misadventures. However, through all the insanity, Andy sets his sights on a businesswoman next door named Trish (Catherine Keener).
WHY I LOVE IT:The 40 Year-Old Virgin is almost the perfect film. Steve Carell is perfect as everyone’s favorite virgin, Andy – and lots of comedic all-stars round out the rest of the cast, including Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, and Jane Lynch. The film delivers lots of humor that could actually happen in everyday life, which puts it one notch above all the rest of the films listed before it. The reason it falls behind the other two entries is the slower pace. With scenes like the one in which Steve Carell is waxed (for real) – this movie deserves multiple re-watches over the years for me. If you can quote this film by heart, you are immediately someone I would like to be friends with.
Brothers
02: ZOOLANDER (2001)
PLOT: When male model extraordinaire Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) is eclipsed by his rival, the enigmatic Hansel (Owen Wilson), he goes into modeling exile until a world-famous designer, Jacobim Mugatu (Will Ferrel), wants to work with him. After Zoolander is invited to a day spa, he is brainwashed by Mugatu’s right-hand woman, Katinka (Milla Jovovich), into trying to assassinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia. Only a plucky young reporter named Matilda Jeffries (Christine Taylor) stands in Mugatu’s way.
WHY I LOVE IT: Originally meant to be just a sketch for the 1996 VH1 Music Awards, Ben Stiller has gotten a lot of mileage out of his character Derek Zoolander. With a silly premise, Zoolander is one of those films that is intentionally “dumb” but which matches that knowing tone with lots and lots of jokes and gags that work. From the rivalry between Zoolander and Hansel, to the brilliant portrayal of Mugatu by Will Ferrel, there is so much going for this film, at least in my book. And the cameo by David Bowie is the icing on the cake. I guess the reason this isn’t in my number one spot is because it’s so “dumb”.
01: STEP BROTHERS (2008)
PLOT: Two thirty-something grown men, Brennan Huff (Will Ferrel) and Dale Doback (John C. Reilly), are forced to live together when their single parents fall for one another and end up moving in together. As the two “boys” mend fences with each other, they destroy everything around them with their immature hijinks.
WHY I LOVE IT: To me, Step Brothers is the perfect comedy film. It’s got the right amount of smart comedy and dumb comedy mixed together. There’s hardly a single moment in the film that feels off balance, and the casting is amazing. Both Reilly and Ferrel do a much better job in this film than they did in Talladega Nights, and you can tell the entire cast and crew must have had an absolute blast shooting the movie. There will be no other movie that is so quotable, at least in my opinion, for some time to come. From the “Boat” rap, to the epic front yard fight, Step Brothers is pure comedy gold. My wife and I love the movie so much, we each got it for each other on our first Christmas together. The movie is now “our” Christmas movie.
Well, there you have it. My Top Ten Favorite Comedy Films. If you have your own list, or any suggestions, please feel free to drop a line in the comments. As always, I will leave you with some honorable mentions.
Away With Words 